Uncovering the real cause of generational conflict

The revolution

There is a revolution going on at work. As the final members of one generation of employees leave, the next group is thinking about following them but are realising their plans for early retirement might not work out. At the same time another generation is arriving on the scene with a mission to transform the workplace and they are impatient! Caught in the middle is a generation who've been patiently waiting their turn to shine only to find that the newcomers have other ideas.

Welcome to a workplace with multiple generations! Builders, Baby Boomers, Generation X and Gen Y are what we’re calling them. I’m sure you will recognise these terms and will have seen the effect these different generations are having on the workplace.  As a manager your next challenge is to find a way to get these 4 diverse groups working together with a minimum of conflict.

The developing conflict
As I travel around speaking at conferences and running workshops, I’m finding that one of the most frequently discussed topics is the changing face of employees. Managers are always using phrases like “they don’t have a work ethic” or “what happened to loyalty?” and staff are questioning “why can’t work be more flexible?” and “how can I get people to understand where I’m coming from?”.

What I’m really hearing about is the symptoms of developing conflict between people of different generations. If left untreated, we are going to find that these symptoms develop into a fully blown disease but that can be prevented if we take the time to look for the real cause of the conflict.

The real cause of conflict
So what is the real cause of this conflict between the generations? In a word . . . respect.

Everyone wants to be respected at work . . . but for different things. Here is what we are learning about the generations and their different views on respect.

• Builders want to be respected for their loyalty
• Baby Boomers want respect for their hard work
• Generation X want respect for their results and
• Generation Y want to be respected for their ideas

 How do you show respect?
In the workplace of the past, respect was something that all managers expected from their staff whether it was by addressing them formally (Sir, Mr), showing deference to them when they entered a room (by standing) or by showing them preference (moving to the head of the queue).

What we are now learning is that people have different ideas on what showing respect means to them. One research study, conducted by The Centre for Creative Leadership in the USA, has found that one of the key areas of conflict in the workplace is around how people show they respect someone.

They found that older generations talked about respect in terms of “giving my opinions the weight I believe they deserve” and “doing what I tell you to do”.  Younger generations responded with “listen to me” and “pay attention to what I have to say”.

 The challenge for managers
As a manager, your challenge is to make people feel respected in a way that is meaningful for them, rather than meaningful for you. You need to apply what author Tony Alessandra calls the “platinum rule” of people skills:

treat other people the way they want to be treated

Whilst your organisation may have a prevailing culture of respecting people for one particular trait, the challenge into the future is finding a way to show respect for a variety of traits. This is particularly true for those organisations that find themselves with people in job roles that are relatively new. For example, IT. We don’t have decades of history in understanding the motivators of people in this field unlike an areas such as accounting. The same is true in understanding the motivators of the different generations.

I believe that when you focus on commonalities, rather than focussing on differences, the job of bringing people together is made so much easier. Let me demonstrate.

Here is a simple exercise I often do with conference audiences that you might like to try with your staff. I select 2 people from the audience – one tall, one shorter, one fair haired, another dark, ideally one male and one female. I ask the audience to tell me what they notice about them. Immediately people pick up on their differences in physical appearance. I then point out that in fact these people have a number of things in common. For example, they are both in this audience, perhaps both from the same industry, wearing something in common . . . you get the general idea.

It doesn’t take much for me to find lots of things that these people have in common. What they have in common isn’t as important as the fact that I am highlighting a focus on the common traits rather than a focus on the differences.

I think the same thing happens when we look at people of different generations at work. We immediately focus on the grey hair or the casual dress, the characteristics that say “different”, instead of looking for things that say “similar” and this can easily lead to conflict. By taking the time to understand each generation and get to the real cause of conflict, I believe we can reduce the amount of conflict we see at work.

Karen Schmidt from Let’s Grow! is an award winning speaker, workshop leader and facilitator who is on a mission to grow managers into engaging leaders. Contact her on 0411 745 430 or visit www.letsgrow.com.au